I’m in tune with how you feel, everything about this is real. When you’re in unfamiliar places count on me through lifes changes.

I had my first CAMHS appointment today with my new therapist, Lisa. I was placed with her because my old MH worker Emma has got a new job. At first I was petrified, I hate change, I hate meeting new people, I hate getting to know them and to be honest, I didn't even want to work with CAMHS anymore when I realised I had to change therapists. But I just went with it, today was my second meet with Lisa as I had a chat with her when I was in hospital.. Not a session though, it was more of a get to know each other kind of thing but it was a little awkward seeing as I was in a completely fucked up state of mind sat in a room with a stranger, but yeah, enough of the ranting! Today I had my first session with Lisa and it was so calm and relaxed and we even had a little bit of a laugh, I told her that my thoughts were still here and that I didn't want to do DBT anymore because I wanted to act on my thoughts, but she persuaded me to hold on a little longer just to see what is to happen. My expectations were set to high, I thought that by coming out of hospital meant I am better and everybody stops caring about me, but turns out that is not the case. I was in hospital to get myself stable, I am still unwell and my therapist said she is still concerned about me but I need to have the courage to step up and tell "the voice" shall we call it no, I am better than this and I can control my mental state. BOOM!