I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel.. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real...

It's like I'm a ghost. Watching from the outside. I don't belong. And I see myself. I'm not who I used to be. I don't like who I've become but I can't seem to go back. The old me is leaking out of me more and more as the "new" me overtakes my body and turns me into something I do not want to become.