'Cuz we lost it all. Nothing lasts forever, I'm sorry I can't be perfect...

And I feel so silly for holding on so tightly to nothing. Well, they call it my life, but to me this isn't a life. To me, the definition of life is "To live" and I am certain that I am not living, I am just existing. I just wish I could witness happiness just once more, I wish I could go back to the times I had no care in the world and my body didn't matter. When people would insult me I would just laugh and think nothing of it. What has happened to me? If I realised I was sinking I would of stopped myself, but now I feel like I've hit rock bottom and there is no way of getting back up. I try, I really do. I fall and I try to stand, I stand for a while but then I just fall back down when I feel like I'm at the top but I don't realise I'm falling until I'm back at stage one again, and if thats the case how am I ever supposed to get "better"? I wish I could believe some day things will be okay and I will be happy, just like I used to be, but at this rate the chances of that happening is minus zero.