My problem with alcohol. -Methyphobia

Ever since I first drank alcohol, my fear has become irrational. I always had a fear of alcohol, methyphobia it's called, I was diagnosed with it by CAMHS a while back. My reasonings for this is because of my auntie who more or less brought me up as a child, she was an alcoholic and I seen all the dangers and horrible things that happened to her, death being one of them. I was their when she died, I only remember the death vaguely but ever since alcohol has become a big problem for me to understand. Drink for me isn't "having a good time" for me, it's slowly killing yourself without realising it and when faced with people who are drunk, or even tipsy, I find it hard to stay around them without freaking out in some way. I just wish I could focus more on the good times my auntie shared rather than the bad ones, but it's really difficult when all you really seen was the bad things. I'm sorry Auntie, I love you dearly I really do and I wish I didn't think stuff like this. It's not your fault.