Is my life really that much worth living?

I'm falling, falling way way down. I never thought things could get this bad, I thought I'd already been through the worst point my mental health could reach but I guess not. What if they send me down? What if they take me away and lock me up? I don't want that, I can't have that, I have to much that I would lose. I want to be normal, I want to be happy, I just want people to stop putting me down, I feel like everybody is just trying to kill me mentally, so why shouldn't I take action physically? I'm hurting more than before, it feels like I've been kicked and stomped on over and over again. This hurt just won't go, I see myself lying their screaming "Help, please somebody I need help" but nobodys around, nobody can hear me. I'm alone, lying on the floor dying, what can I do? How can I take control? I've taken control of situations before and I need to do the same now too but the question here is what the fuck am I meant to do? I'm lost.