The Butterfly Project.

Out of every regret I have in my life, that first cut is most definitely the one thing I regret doing the most. For the past 3 weeks now I have been hurting myself everyday and I've ended up in ANE on numerous occasions due to this. Today, again, was a struggle. I wanted to do it, but then I knew I couldn't, I don't know what made my brain think differently today, but I didn't do it, and I feel good that it never happened.

Afterwards I thought about it, and came to the decisions I don't want to do it anymore. I've told myself this so many times before, but it never seems to happen, so when I was gazing on google I came across this thing called The Butterfly Project. 

Basically, The Butterfly Project is like a game, well thats how I like to see it anyway. You have to draw a butterfly on you, where ever you usually self harm (If you have more than one place, go for it, I did!) and name it after someone you love, or someone who wants you to get better. The aim of the project is to not self harm, if you do, then you kill the butterflys :-( but don't think by drawing more you will get away with it, because you won't! For example, if you draw two: One on your arm and one on your leg. If you cut your arm, but not your leg, they all die :( 

When I came across this, I thought it sounded pretty stupid, but when I thought about it really hard I thought it may work. For The Butterfly Project, I have drawn four butterflys. One on my wrist, that is labeled Tom after my nephew. Another on my foot, that is labeled Matthew after my other nephew. One on my ankle, that is labeled Holly after my niece. And finally, one on my thigh, that is labeled Amy after my very special friend. I think more people should try this out, just to see how it works. For me, I think it may work, because when I self harm I tend not to think about the people around me, my minds just to busy focusing on the pain of the mind to think about the people I love. Hopefully, this will make me realise before I do make the cut that I have people who do care about me and nieces and nephews that I need to be a role model too, I don't want to be a cutter for the rest of my life and that is where I'm heading, as I've been told.

I'd really appreciate it if anybody else has tried, or is doing this too, to leave comments and tell me how it went/is going :-) thank you for taking your time to read my blog, I really do appreciate it.