The razor caressed your flesh and your arms turned red. I feel your vast desire.

I haven't self harmed once since I came out of hospital, I darent do it. My Mum has told me how proud I have made her by keeping in control of the self harm. Even though I have had the urges, I still haven't done it but their is a reason behind that. I sit here and think to myself "why bother?" because right now I don't want to cut to feel alive, I don't want to cut because I feel numb. If I was to cut myself, I wouldn't be able to stop, I would cut, and cut, and cut until their was no skin left visible. I would cut, and cut, and cut until I was left unconcious with blood seeping out of my veins on my bedroom floor. And I want that, so so bad, but I know I need to stay strong for everybody else.