Monday, 7 November 2011
I don't want the world to see me 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.
Today I had an appointment with a psychiatrist regarding meds. I was pretty much forced to go into details with my "plan" but I didn't, why would I tell them what I was planning when they could stop me just like that. Silly people. Aaaanywayyy, my psychiatrist was really pleased that I came, because at my previous CAMHS appointment I refused to ever step foot back in that building ever again, but yet again, that was said out of anger. I was first of all speaking with my psychiatrist alone, then she spoke to my MH nurse, Lisa and my Mum seperately then we all joined back in the room together. She thinks that Anti-Depressants would really benefit me but a side affect of the meds I am going on are psychosis and extreme suicidal actions/thoughts, so she decided it would be appropriate to place me back into hospital for 2 weeks, but if the meds are bad and have a bad effect on me they would have to try different ones which would lead me to being there for a month. I refused to go, I didn't want to and I still don't but if I don't go they will section me, and I refuse to have that on my name.
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what i dont get, is why would they put people on anti depressents with side effects such as suicidal thoughts/actions. Surly that defeats the object!
ReplyDeleteIKR! They said that only lasts a few weeks apparently, but they need to watch me because if I was at home and I felt like that, chances are I would act on the thoughts but in hospital I don't have a choice lmao! Also, they might make me feel worse and go completely mental: side affect psychosis. Psychosis is a side affect of my paranoia when it gets really bad, so they need to keep an eye on that when I am put on the meds. Xx
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