Now show me that beautiful smile of yours once more please?

30 day self-harm challenge. - Day 1.

How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.

I have been self harming from the age of nine years old. It all began with brusing and burning myself. This all started because as I child I was an outcast in my family, I never really fitted in. I was always pushed to the side left to do my own thing. When I reached high school I got bullied alot, and used to smack my head in between doors and smash it shut, I used to break a glass and walk on it bare foot, and then when I reached 13 I was diagnosed with many mental illnesses. I was asked if I self harmed, bruised myself, burned myself, CUT myself. Well, that thought never came to mind. I never thought I could cut my skin open and see blood, so that night I went home and did it. At first, I felt nothing. But every time things felt wrong and bad, I would cut. I no longer bruise or burn or walk on broken glass. Cutting served my purpose from that day on but I can honestly say in a way, I'm glad I went through it, because with experience of my recovery of self injury I can now help those around me to see the positives instead of the negatives and learn how to not do it when the urges come rushing by!

Live. Laugh. Love. Life. :-)

Don't waste your time regretting all your wrongs. Know that in the end, you'll get what your heart longs. Try not to risk it all; don't stumble; don't fall. Take the time to read the writings on the wall. Hold your head high; don't be afraid to say goodbye. Stay true and be you. Do everything their is to do. Live life to the fullest and don't look back -- there is a reason for the future and a reason for the past. Love till it hurts; laugh till you cry. And when your life flashes before you die, be happy for what you've done, be happy for what you've overcome, and most of all be proud of what you had become.

My friend, that is technically my sister. I love her..

"What's that mark on you're arm?" 
"Trust me, homie, Sonic the Hedgehog ISN'T as nice as he seems.." 

LOL!
What would I do without my friends? Seriously? We have such laughs together, the moments we experience can never be taken away from me, they are treasured in my heart for a life time.

One day we will be one, instead of two. Working together as a team, instead of fighting.

Self harm urges keep crawling back, but I'm not going to let them win, I've taken control before I can do it again. To distract myself I am participating in a video with my friends Kimm, Emmy, Hannah, Jaycee, Emma and Kaytee on Eating Disorders so I am going to get myself ready then video my script :) I am fighting, I am winning, I am stronger than you think! :-)

Good-bye, Au-revoir, Ciao, Adios!

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces. Each one is different, but they're always the same. They mean no harm but it's time that I face it, they'll never allow me to change... But, I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong... I'm moving on.

The lost little girl.

The apple falls far from the tree she's rotten and so beautiful, I'd like to keep her here with me and tell her that she's special. She takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible in her tormented dreams, she stays awake and tries to recall those times where she was capable...