I don't wana do this anymore, I don't wana be the reason why everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside.

Sometimes I just wish, I could run away and hide.
No matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside.
How can I stay here and live each day a lie,
When all I want to do is close my eyes and die?
I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed.
I plead with you now sister, let me go instead?
I wish I could take you with me, to a happy place,
Whether it exists though, is time for me to face.
Can I ask for your forgiveness? For you to set me free,
It may seem ungrateful, but this life's not meant for me.
Thank you for all your love, for all the time we shared,
It means the world to me, to know that someone cared.

I hate what I have become to escape what I hated being.

Don't hold strong opinions about things you don't understand.

My time has come, and so I'm gone. To a better place, far beyond. I love you all as you can see. But it's better now, because I'm free.

This is my dream, this has always been my dream. I've been batteling an eating disorder since the age of 11 and every place I am I was always looking around to see if I was the "biggest" and even if I wasn't, I felt like I was which would make me binge and purge, I know I'm better than this and I'm going to show everyone out their, I can do it!

Sometimes dreams do come true.

Hospitalization is not the answer 15 times in the past 3 years you fucking retard.

Today I have been booked in for an "emergency appointment" at C.A.M.H.S. Do I want to go? Not really. Do I want their help? Again, no. I know what they want, I know what their trying to do. Their trying to stick me in their cell based hospital again like always. Every time I go their, I say nothing to them yet I still find myself being assessed over and over again for hospital. I've been in hospital a total number of 14 times since the age of 13 and by the looks of it, 15 soon. I don't think anybody has been hospitalized that many times, I think they have something against me. Especially my counselor, Emma, she hates me, she must do. When I used to open up to her, she didn't understand anything, so why should I continue to do so? It's stupid. One day I will get them back for what they've done to me...